Monday September 11, 2006

I got to work a few minutes after 7:00am and sat at my desk with my tea and English muffin. I had 2 solid hours of work I had to get through before Testing of CBeds started at 9:00. I got into email and noticed that one of the most recent ones was from Mom saying that Jeff was in the ED with the headaches that had persisted all weekend, and to go over and wait with him.

What little appetite I had went out the window. I threw out the rest of the muffin, grabbed my tea and my binder for my 9:00 and headed to the ED. Jeff was sitting patiently watching the new coverage for the 5th Anniversary of September 11, 2001, which would be background noise for most of the rest of our day.

We talked about the weekend and that the persistent headaches of the last month were getting much worse. Sunday he came home from Boston to help Dad pull out a tree stump. On the way he stopped at Home Depot and couldn’t even stand to get out of the car. He spent the whole day just trying to get as comfortable as he could on the couch. On Monday morning he decided he needed to be seen before his Friday appointment with his PCP and Dad dropped him off on his way to work.

I went to see Maryfran (Nurse Manager of the ED) while we were waiting, and she said he wasn’t seen by 8:30 to come back and get her. I didn’t want to bug her, but a few minutes after 9:00 when he wasn’t seen, I went back. She came up to talk to someone and within a few minutes he was called in for his CT scan. It didn’t take long for the test itself but the waiting for results took a bit longer. By then Melissa had arrived and the three of us sat and watched tv.
We were still talking about what they might do for allergy tests or that it might be migraine medication that he’d need. I told him that if they didn’t find anything that day I’d get the information Theresa had given me about this migraine clinic here at MGH. [Jeff did tell us later that coming out of the CT scan they asked if he came in on a stretcher. He said no, and wondered why they’d think that. They asked if he could find his way back to the waiting room and he said yes (of course) but one of them still walked him back].

The results of the CT scan were taking awhile, and I decided I’d go over and check on testing for a little while. Melissa was waiting with Jeff, so he wasn’t alone, and I told her to page me once they heard anything. Mom was emailing me for updates, but I didn’t have any. Then about 10:00 she emailed me saying “Call me as soon as you get this.”

“They found a mass in his head.” My heart caught in my chest. I told Ryann and Kristine (and whoever might be in that room, I have no idea) what little I knew and literally ran all the way back to the ED. In typical Jeff fashion he was sitting there just as calmly as ever, Melissa sitting next to him, watching the 9/11 coverage. They didn’t know anything else, but that he’d be getting an MRI to figure things out further. Dad, who probably left work when I did, arrived a few minutes later. They got Jeff a bed in Bay 25 of MAMP (in the ED) and hooked up an EKG and measured some other levels. We watched some of the Price Is Right and met his nurses.

Around 11:30 they took him for his MRI. Dad, Melissa and I went to the caf to get something to eat. Waveney met up with us there and the 4 of us ate together. We went back at 12:15 and his nurse said he wouldn’t be back for about 45 minutes, so we went to my office and killed some more time there. We got back to find out that Jeff got back to the bay probably 5 minutes after they had sent us away.

Then just more and more waiting, until finally the senior surgical resident came through and gave us the results of the MRI. The mass appeared to be a juvenile astrocytoma in his right cerebellum. It was expected to be about 3cm x 3cm (the size of a golf ball) and would need to be removed with surgery within a few days because of the pressure it was putting on his brain. They wouldn’t know if it was benign or malignant until it was removed, but that type of tumor is not generally cancerous, which was a relief.

Of course, in the middle of all of this, Mom arrives and immediately breaks down. She got on the phone right away with her connections in the Cancer Center and has them looking things up. We all sort of just took in all the news as best we could (still hardly believing it could be real).
When things settled down a little, I went to Jackie’s office- and had my mini-breakdown there. She was great, so supportive. Jackie paged Ann Kennedy who recommended Dr. William Curry as his neurosurgeon (instead of Zin Williams the House Attending assigned to him by the ED).

I went back to the ED and within 5 minutes one of Dr. Curry’s residents was in the room with us, already having reviewed Jeff’s scans! He told us that most of the 3xm x 3cm growth was actually a fluid filled cist and that the actual tumor was only about 5mm (1/4 inch) in diameter. The plan would be to puncture the cist and remove the tumor in surgery that would take about 5 hours and they’d plan for Wednesday. Until then, they wanted to monitor him in the Neuro ICU. If his symptoms progressed beyond headaches, to nausea or vomiting, they could perform surgery earlier.

I went to Admitting to make sure they’d have a bed ready for Jeff- and they did (even before the ED officially requested one). By this point Susan had already arrived (because Jeff called Patrick- knowing that if he had to have surgery soon and Pat didn’t know, he’d be upset that Jeff didn’t call). We all traveled together up to Blake 12.

Early evening we met Dr Curry, a young, handsome doctor who was extremely nice and comforting. By then, everything we’d heard was confirmed- and he said the reason they were planning for surgery on Wednesday is that they couldn’t get a definite slot in the OR on Tuesday and with the definite time on Wednesday at least Jeff would know when he was going in and wouldn’t have to fast for nothing.

Shortly before that Susan left to go home and tell Grammy and Bubba in person. She called Linda on the way and Linda and Tommy went with them, which was a great idea. They book took the news hard, and when Gram wanted to come in to see Jeff, Tommy stayed with Bubba so he wasn’t alone.

Around the time Susan, Linda and Grammy, Karen and Steve got here too. Patrick was also here. It was tough having to explain everything over and over again, watching people to react to how horrible it all sounds- when you’ve made progress in starting to deal with it. Needless to say there were a lot of tears in the waiting room.

In the room with Jeff we all did our best to keep it positive, and of course each person who came into his room was reassured just looking at Jeff and seeing that it was still him. Yes, his head hurt, and yes things were serious but brain tumor just doesn’t look as scary as it sounds.

Then there’s Jeff’s sense of humor and good nature, which lightened the mood. He was explaining all of what was wrong, his symptoms and the course of action they were going to take. And then telling people that since they were already going to have his head open, he wanted a Smart Chip installed to make him super smart!

The other running jokes were that we could no longer say to him “It’s NOT a tumor!” like the Arnold Schwartzeneger on Kindergarten Cop… and that in a few years we might really be telling the truth when we said he had a couple screws loose.

Things finally quieted down around 9:00 or so and Mom, Dad, Melissa and I left around 10:30. I got home, sent off all of the update emails and went to bed… but probably didn’t fall asleep til after 2am.

Fall

I'm wearing long sleeves.
I still shave my legs, but I know as soon as I step outside its going to be chilly and that hair is going to stand right on end!
I close the window in the morning because its too cold when I'm getting ready.
It's dark when I wake up, and that still confuses me.
I just switched out my summer clothes (well most of them) for my winter clothes.

Yep. It's officially Fall! {and I'm coming to terms with that}

Labor Day weekend has come and gone in a blur. A great weekend overall.

Friday night= Pascarella's party

Saturday= Installed my new carpet (aka. spent 7 hours in hell. had to gut the whole car to get the old carpet out- and the new carpet #1 wasn't molded and #2 didn't quite fit. it was a joy. poor dan worked so hard and it didn't come out perfect).... but there's no more smell.

At night Dan went to the Pascarella's but when I woke up from my nap at 8:00 I was too out of it to go anywhere. I stayed home and actually did some scrapbooking for myself for a change! I had soo much fun-- I was still awake when Dan got home at 12:30! I never stay up that late anymore!!!

Sunday= Got my winter clothes from Mom's... then spent the rainy morning shopping for craft supplies and fall clothing. Came home and got scrapbooking! I had so much fun. [Jessica's guest book is almost done]. At night we went to the Pascarella's. Krissy and Matt came too. I had so much fun- I even played beer pong (and did pretty well)!

Monday= Lounged around and did nothing productive in the morning. Then Matt and Krissy picked us up to go to the races in Seekonk, MA with Bill, Larry, Leslie and 2 of their sons. We had a great time!!! It wasn't like regular racing, it was more like racing mixed with demolition derby stuff-- tons of crashes!! But it was really cool. Late night, though.

So now its Tuesday! Looking forward to a whirlwind week ahead- with Jessica's Bridal shower and Bachelorette party on Saturday. I can't believe its finally almost here!!!